Miles To Go Before I Sleep
by astral flower
Summary: When the case of a child abduction brings in a specialist to assist the team, their lives change forever. Reid/OC
1. Prologue

PROLOGUE

_The fair was thriving with the entire town flocking to its magical lights like moths to a flame. The aromas of burgers, hot-dogs, popcorn cooking in the distance and the sickliness of candy floss filtered through the air causing all those families and couples who were brave enough to spend an afternoon there to crave all of them at the same time. The sunshine beat down heavily upon them, their thirst for something sugary and cold was overwhelming. Children shrieked in the distance, their excitement levels peaking at an almighty high, as they looked around in wonder at the incredible prizes and toys that seemed priceless to them._

_Jason Gideon stared in wonder at his two children – Stephen, the oldest, begged his mother for an ice-cream, and his youngest, Grace, who stared around at her surroundings in wonder, her eyes wider than they'd ever been as she took in the delights of the fair – and felt the luckiest he had ever felt._

_He had spent much of the week wanting nothing more than for a case to close early so that he was able to spend some quality time with his family. As the days passed and the case looked to be no further forward than when they first took it on, it seemed unlikely that he would be able to take the afternoon off and take his children to the fair. It was a simple want, but an important one, nonetheless._

_"Daddy, look…" Grace said as she pulled at his arm. He knelt beside her and looked in the direction of her small pointed hand and smiled. A light brown teddy bear, almost triple the size of her, hung from the stand, its unseeing eyes claiming her as its owner. "I love him…"_

_"Have you got a name for him?" Jason Gideon asked his young daughter, who then turned to him with wide, excited eyes. She nodded animatedly. "Because he must have a name if he's going to be coming home with us!"_

_"Yes, Daddy," Grace smiled her devilish grin. She lowered her voice to just a mere whisper and turned to him, her hand cupping over his ear so only he could hear. "His name is Daddy. So, when you at work, he with me."_

_And it was at that moment that the familiar feeling of guilt pierced through his heart and stunned him into silence. He knew he worked long hours, he knew that… but his wife had always told him that whilst his own children are at home with her, safe, warm and loved, that there are other people's family members out there scared, vulnerable and fearful that their last day would be upon them. He knew his wife was right, she always was, but the amount of guilt he would feel when he'd return home from a case to find his children in bed after a week or more of not seeing them would always be prominent and overwhelming. He loved his job, but he loved his family more, and it was tough that there was no balance in his life. One of them would always falter with him not being present; and he wondered which one would be first to break._

_His life was perfect, idyllic even. He was incredibly lucky to find such an understanding and dedicated wife who loved him for everything that he was and everything that he wasn't. He had flaws like everyone else, but he often wore them like scars upon his body. He always wished that he would be able to spend longer than a few hours with his wife and children, but to him, those hours meant everything to him._

_"That's a perfect name," he whispered, knowing that he couldn't show his sadness to her. Though she was young, she was inquisitive. "And when you're missing me, you have him to cuddle and talk to, yeah?"_

_Grace nodded with a smile. "He not as tall as Daddy. But he taller than Grace."_

_Jason Gideon laughed at his daughter's comment before placing a kiss upon her forehead. "Let's get you that big teddy bear," he said as he stood to his full height, felt the light weight of her hand in his, and moved towards the stall. After a few games and a few too many dollars later, the teddy bear named Daddy was won and given to Grace. As she carried the teddy bear back to her mom and brother, the bear dwarfed her whole frame._

_But they always say that lives can be changed in a moment. A split second. A blur. A lapse in judgement and reality, and that one moment – where time slows and yet the mind and body feel heavier than ever – can change a person forever. And that seemed to be true for a lot of people, and in Gideon's case, he relied on moments like that. But when it came down to it, it was other families these things happened to, not him or his family._

_The fair was meant to be a happy time, but it would curse him for years to come._

_They were a family of four, and in that moment – when time slowed before him as he moved his attention to a loud clatter that surrounded him – they were another statistic of a couple with a missing child. The teddy bear had been dropped to the ground and his daughter was gone._

_Seconds turned to minutes; minutes turned to hours; hours turned into days; days turned into weeks; weeks turned into years; and his daughter, his young, innocent and beloved girl, was never returned to them._

_That was the catalyst for the change in him. He threw himself into work, working longer hours, spending more and more time away from his broken family. His marriage broke down shortly after Grace's disappearance, but he always kept her ring, a keepsake of what they used to be and what he had lost. It was his reminder of everything that he had lost in that split-second moment. He berated himself for taking his eyes off her for that moment, and in those years after her disappearance, he relived that day over and over._

_Each year, he returned to the fun fair in the hopes that he would find her again, that she would appear beside him, older now and able to carry the teddy bear without it weighing her down. He wondered what she would look like now if given the chance; would she resemble her mother, or bore his dark features?_

_And maybe that was why he was so compassionate with every case that came his way. He always imagined her being beside him when horrific cases came his way, knowing that he had to work hard just as he would hope someone working her missing case would. As the years passed by and the deadline of seven years flew by, she was declared dead by the state. Everything that she had been and everything she was promised to be was diminished just as the hope in his heart was._

_Gideon could never forgive himself for taking his attention away from his young daughter for those mere few seconds, as those few seconds were enough for her to be snatched from his life. It had been twenty years since she was ripped from him, and not a day went by where he didn't relive every single moment leading up to her being taken. Her soft voice filled with happiness at her new friend; the way her hand held his tightly that had been there and then gone in the space of a heartbeat; the insufferable pain he felt when he couldn't see her in the vast crowd. Pain and guilt were all he knew now. But with no sightings of her whatsoever in those years, he never gave up hope that one day she would find her way back to him whether she was alive or dead._

_He knew the outcomes to cases like these, and most of the time, they were heart-breaking conclusions to open wounds that never seemed to heal. And in his line of work, he couldn't think of a conclusion that didn't end with that. He just couldn't. He had waded through every inch of hell searching for her, and he still had to hold onto that last bit of hope._

_It was the only thing keeping him on this earth. _


	2. Part One: Chapter One

LOST

..

PART ONE

..

CHAPTER ONE

..

_A normal Saturday afternoon. A park in the small town of Fairhope, Los Angeles. Everything seemed so perfect as children played with each other, chasing and playing tag, their squeals filling the surrounding area._

_A toddler, eighteen months old, was snatched out of his stroller as he slept while his mother played with his older brother on the swings. A short moment, a small lapse in concentration, was all that was needed for a parent's life to be turned upside down._

_Her screams captured the attention of other parents and children around the area, and as police was called, a search was conducted. No one had seen anyone come in or out of the open park, and it was as if all trace of the child had been removed from the world._

_As the minutes that felt like hours passing by, however, there was still no sign of him. And her world became dark._

_.._

**Quantico, Virginia**

Jennifer Jareau had always struggled to deal with cases involving missing children, abductions or neglect. Since becoming a mother, she had found that she was a protective parent because of what she had seen in her years at the BAU. Both Will and herself had seen the difficult cases where the missing children never returned, and when they welcomed their first child, it was as if their whole world had imploded with their fears and worries almost capsizing their boat that happily bobbed up and down on the water.

She understood her worries and fears were justified and tangible, but it was hard to close the door when she returned home from work and not let it affect her. It was like a black cloud that always lingered, and that stretched as far as her line of sight would go, and never allowed much sunshine into her little world. JJ knew her job would begin to affect her in ways she wasn't able to explain, and she hadn't realised just how much it would when her family expanded.

"Hey, you okay?" Reid's voice caught her attention, and she stared at him for a moment before she nodded and forced a smile upon her face.

"Yeah, just tired, that's all," she responded watching as Reid nodded, the furrow to his brow never ceasing. "Henry… he's going through a phase where he doesn't sleep and it's just, uh, so tiring."

"Did you know cats spend two thirds of their life asleep whereas humans only spend one third of their lives sleeping? And the record for the longest record of someone going with sleep is a total of eleven days," Reid relayed as his mind worked at ease. He enjoyed dishing out facts that people wouldn't necessarily know but hoped that they enjoyed them as much as he did. It was his way of opening up to them without drawing too much attention to himself. A peace offering, he would call it.

JJ stared blankly at Reid as he relayed facts to her. She took a long sip of her coffee before commenting. "I'm pretty sure Henry has surpassed that total."

"I'd be pretty impressed if he did as most of the participants died during those eleven days whereas the student who reached that total experienced extreme sleep deprivation," Reid continued, his eyes moving back to the file JJ had given him. He was oblivious to the look of sheer panic that etched across her face, just as the rest of the group filed into the room. She continued to make her rounds around the table and placing a new case file in front of the empty seats.

"Nobody in yet?" she asked Reid who looked up from the case file and shrugged.

"I've not seen any of them this morning, although I did take a detour into work," Reid answered. "It took me just fifteen minutes instead of the usual twenty-one minutes. Apparently there's road works all along that long road just—"

"Impressive," JJ said, her voice flat as she cut him off. She moved towards the open door just in time to see the rest of the team walking towards the room, their expressions exasperated, and appearances dishevelled. They dropped off their belongings at their desks before closing the gap between them and her. "What happened to you guys?"

"The road was closed," Morgan huffed. "Had to divert and drive for what felt like a day."

Prentiss simply held up her hand in defeat before sitting down in the seat beside Reid. "How did you get here so early?"

"I took a detour," Reid answered with a shrug. "I didn't feel like driving that way this morning."

Gideon and Hotch came in last and closed the door on the world. Hotch stood beside JJ who was leading the meeting whilst Gideon picked up his file and took a seat on the window sill. It was something he always did, and he felt that being able to see the entire room was beneficial to him as he could watch the team's true expression when the case was presented to them. He wanted to see the horror, the anguish, the repulsed look that betrayed their usually calm exterior. He needed to see all that to know they were capable of doing their job to the levels he expected; it was crucial they were able to separate their true feelings from their professional feelings which should be at an almighty none. He needed a team who would go into a burning building and not become overwhelmed with the heat. He needed a team he could trust with his life.

"Okay, JJ… what do you have?" Hotch asked, moving the attention of the room onto JJ. As the team switched their minds towards the case in hand, Gideon felt the switch in atmosphere.

"We have an abduction," JJ began, watching the expressions of her team. "Harry, a boy aged just eighteen months old, was at the park with his mother and older brother who is five. His father was at work that morning and was headed down to them that afternoon for some fun. His brother had wanted to go on the swings, and his mother left the sleeping toddler in his pram as she pushed his brother on a swing."

She paused for a moment before continuing. "The father came down around five minutes later and went to look in the pram at his sleeping son to find an empty carrier. In those five minutes, the lives of the Watson family had changed forever. There were eyewitnesses, as all the other parents were busy with their own children, and no-one was seen going in or leaving the park."

"But that doesn't dispute that someone didn't enter the park and take the child, or didn't leave the park with kid?" Morgan refuted as his gaze lingered on the once happy family smiling for a family photoshoot.

"Exactly, which is weird that not one person noticed any kind of movement around the park," Prentiss interjected.

"When I'm at the park with Henry, I don't see anyone else," JJ spoke honestly. "My sole attention is on him making sure he didn't fall over or run into any other children."

"Was the mother positioned looking at the pushchair or the opposite way?" Reid asked, his face scrunching up in confusion as he pondered possible ways of a child going missing in broad daylight and with an audience of a few people.

"And this is where it gets stranger," JJ began. "The mother _was_ positioned towards the pushchair which would mean she would notice some movement, but she claims she saw nothing and no-one near her child."

A moment of silence fell upon the BAU team as their minds raced and followed multiple possibilities. They were all led down separate ones, but all were led to a barrier that blocked their path. How could a sleeping toddler be taken in a busy park with the mother having a clear view of the pushchair?

"Could the mother have thought she was looking in that direction?" Morgan asked, with a furrowed brow.

"I'd always make sure I had a clear view of my other child if I was with the other one," Prentiss commented. "It must be an opportunist."

"Or someone who had been planning the abduction for weeks," Reid surmised. "To ensure it went so seamlessly when the mother's attention was diverted for just a milli-second would take weeks if not months of planning. There's no way this was an opportunist."

"Reid's right," Gideon interjected. "This had to be planned for a long time. And I agree, weeks or months of planning would be enough to not make a mistake. They would've had to have known the mother's routine, maybe even knew the direction the mother would be looking for those few seconds before and after the abduction."

"Where's the case?" Hotch asked after hearing his team deliberate over possibilities.

"Los Angeles," JJ answered as she placed her file upon the shiny brown table. "We have a specialist meeting us there. The jet's ready for us."

"A specialist?" Morgan asked, his brow raised.

"She specialises on missing children and abduction cases," JJ replied with a nod. "She's very good at her job."

"How good?" Reid asked with a smirk.

"Let's just say, out of all the cases she's worked on, there's not been one child she hasn't found."

..

Jason Gideon always found the plane journey's to be the most comforting. To allow yourself to relax on a plane was something a lot of people struggled with, and he understood that for a long time. He found it overwhelming comforting to know that he was being removed from earth for a short time, where all his cares, worries and fears didn't matter all that much to him, and he was able to spend the journey with his team who had become family to him over the years. He enjoyed reading his books in the quiet corner of the plane, where the plush couches were situated; he thoroughly relished his games of chess with the youngest member of the team; he appreciated his conversations with Hotch about anything that wasn't the current case they were working on; he liked listening to JJ as she spoke about her son's development; he admired Prentiss and Morgan's banter with each other that he had been accepted into.

The journey to different states allowed him to focus more than anything. He was able to take time out for himself when he needed to, whether it be before a long and gruelling case or when they were travelling back home.

But when he fell asleep on the plane and awoke to a gentle shake from Hotch, he knew he was struggling again. His concerned friend sat opposite him, with a table separating them. Gideon glanced around him at his team who were too preoccupied with their own thing to notice him, but Hotch had.

"Are you okay?" Hotch asked even though he already knew the answer.

It took a few moments for Gideon to answer but even as he nodded his head, he knew his friend was lying. He took a deep breath before shaking his head. Hotch understood completely and chewed the inside of his mouth.

"I can organise for you to return to Quantico if this case is too much for you," Hotch commented, his voice softening.

"No," Gideon shook his head profusely. "I can't leave the team a member short."

"But the case—" Hotch was cut off.

"—I'll be fine, Hotch," Gideon cut in. "I promise. It's just… a little close to home, but that's it. I've gone, what? Twenty years dealing with all kind of cases, including cases like this… and I've been fine. This case is no different."

Hotch raised an eyebrow at his friend and colleague before nodding. "If you need time away from it, then let me know and I can schedule in some time away."

Gideon allowed his friend to comfort him in the best way he knew how, and simply nodded. He rested his head against the cushioned head rest and pondered for a moment. "You know, it's cases like these that always make me stay. And the only time I left was when we thought we'd found her which was around twelve years ago."

"How old would she be now?"

"Twenty-five," Gideon said without hesitation. "It would've been her birthday last week."

Hotch furrowed his brows as his mind wandered to his own child, safe at home with his wife. He could never imagine anything happening to him, and he knew it would tear him apart. He understood why Gideon had kept it secret from the team, it wasn't something that Gideon liked to draw attention to. His daughter had gone missing years before the team was constructed, and though they knew only a few things about him, his daughter wasn't a subject to be spoken about like a case. "How do you do it? We have offer hope to every parent we come across whose child was taken even if the outcome is not the one we had all hoped for."

Gideon was silent for a moment. "I always think of the last moment I looked in her brown eyes. The last time I held her hand in mine. The last time she laughed which always made my heart swell, it still does now. And I think… if I don't find their child, they're going to lose out on that just like I did. And my pain is enough. I can't allow another family to experience that."

"Do you ever think you'll find her?"

"I still have that hope, I don't think it would ever go away," Gideon answered. "But I don't think I'll ever find her or know what happened to her. I just have this image of her living her life out there somewhere. And she's happy, she's so happy. I lost everything that day, my daughter, my marriage broke down… but I've gained a family here, and even though it's not the same, it's something. And I just need that something to keep going."

..

**Fairhope, Los Angeles**

The heat that welcomed them in Los Angeles was unbearable. The comparison between both states was immeasurable and as they travelled to the station, it was hard for them all to adjust to the change in temperature. The windows on their black SUV's were down and the AC was on full, the breeze billowing through the open windows as they drove through the endless roads.

Spencer Reid was resting against the padded seats with sunglasses perched upon his nose. Though the jet only took them just close to four hours to travel to Los Angeles, he was exhausted. He wasn't sure if it was due to his late-night antics of reading through various books or if it was due to the nightmares that plagued his unconscious mind as soon as sleep had welcomed him. He analysed that it was due to both and he surmised that it was his mind – his ever-imaginative mind – playing tricks on him.

"I'm sweating in places I never knew were possible," Prentiss commented, tearing him away from his thoughts.

"Women actually have more sweat glands than men but interestingly, more sweat is actually produced from men," Reid informed his colleagues. "And did you know, sweat is mostly colourless, and it's the chemicals in your deodorant that actually cause those yellow sweat stains on clothes?"

"Do you know everything about everything?" Prentiss asked, almost dumfounded.

"Well, that would be impossible. Not entirely impossible, actually, because there's obviously things I still don't know about but…" Reid trailed off watching as a grin appeared on Prentiss' face.

"Keep being you, kid," Prentiss smirked, ruffling his hair. She leaned forward towards him and with a quick yank, she had taken his sunglasses from him.

"Hey!" Reid called out to her as she placed them on her face.

"Alright, kids, knock it off before I confiscate them," Hotch said with a smirk.

..

Caroline Meadows was nothing like they imagined.

As the team filed into the station and introduced themselves to the team at Fairhope PD, they were expecting someone entirely different. Older, more experienced, maybe. But the woman standing before them was no older than her mid-twenties with auburn hair, fair skin, dark eyes, and wearing leggings, a long white tee, a denim jacket and Chelsea boots. The team observed her for a moment, and she smirked as she analysed them individually.

"This is Caroline Meadows, she's our specialist that we've called in at short notice just like you guys," Detective James Hunter introduced her to the team. They all nodded at her individually and she returned the nod.

"What makes you a specialist? You must be, what? Twenty something?" Prentiss asked after a moment. "I apologise if that comes across as sharp, it's just… you look too young to be a specialist."

Caroline offered a smile as she nodded. "I get it all the time. I have first-hand experience in this field, so… I won't bore you with the details. But I'm in my last few weeks of training with the FBI."

"Oh, congratulations. I'm sure you'll pass with flying colours," Prentiss commented with a smile. It was nice for her to see a young woman carving out a career in a mostly male focussed career path. When she was training to be an FBI agent, it was hard for her to encompass just how much she had to prove her male predecessors wrong.

"Thanks," Caroline smiled, before moving the attention back to the detective.

He led them into a meeting room where the case had already been compiled for them with any relevant information that had been missing from their own files placed upon the board. Reid closed the gap between him and the photographs, hands in pocket as he inspected the photographs. JJ, Hotch, Morgan and Prentiss followed suit and observed the new information with the informative case files upon the table. Gideon remained close to the large window that allowed him to watch the parents of the child a stone's throw away in the relative's room. Caroline Meadows remained close to the door with the case file in hand.

"How long has the child been missing for now?" Caroline asked with a furrowed brow.

"Coming up close to six hours," Detective Hunter answered, his voice low.

Caroline nodded and bit her lip. She released a sigh which caused Gideon's attention to divert towards her.

"What was that sigh for?" Gideon asked, causing the attention of his team to also divert from the task in hand and to focus on that. "You don't think we'll find him?"

"No, it isn't that," Caroline said, noting the hint of bitterness in his voice. "It's just, I've been here for three hours. And I've read and re-read the case file, I've read the reports, I've spoken to the mother of the child, I've spoken to people who were there who should've been credible eye witnesses and not one bit of this case makes sense."

"We thought that when we got the case through," Morgan commented. "It's just as if the kid was removed without a trace when there should be someone who knows or saw something."

"Exactly," Caroline said with a nod.

"How so?" Hotch asked, intrigued.

"I've worked on a lot of cases like these, starting from when I was eighteen," Caroline began. "And each one had credible eye witnesses who saw something. It could be something small but would be so important. It could be something big that opens the whole case up. There were seven families there at the park, some with both parents and others with just one. There were around sixteen children on that park including Aiden and Harry. How can there be no eye witnesses? According to those families, no one came in and no one went out of the park. Apparently the gate squeaked when it was opened so they would've known if someone did. But an eighteen-month-old was taken, just like that."

"It doesn't add up," Reid commented. "How was the mother when you interviewed her?"

"As you could imagine, really," Detective Hunter said. "She cursed herself for not realising that her son was taken. She's pretty inconsolable."

"Do you know how long the child was taken before the father came and noticed his son was gone?" Gideon asked.

"About five minutes," the detective answered.

"Were there any cameras out there that would've picked something up?" JJ asked, her mind racing as she thought about her own child.

"The only camera there was positioned upon the parking lot of the park," Caroline read from the file. "Has any other children been abducted from that area before?"

"Not one," Detective Hunter confirmed.

"Could we interview the mother? Get a feel for the case?" Prentiss asked to which the detective nodded. "Something isn't adding up about this."

"Okay, Prentiss and Morgan will interview the mother," Hotch ordered. "JJ and I will go through the case more here. Reid, Gideon and Caroline will head to the park and retrace the steps of the family."

..

**Fairhope Country Park, Los Angeles**

Fairhope Country Park was vaster than the team had originally thought. Consisting of a parking lot that held a total of forty-five vehicles, a small children's play park, a dog park, and over two thousand kilometres of fields. It was an open area that allowed visitors to see the entirety of the vast area. Trees scattered around the park that offered shaded shelter from the sweltering sun that beamed upon the profusely, but apart from that, there was no hiding places. And that only seemed to confirm their suspicions that someone would've seen something.

Reid, Caroline and Gideon walked from the parking lot and towards the park. Their attention moved around them, causing them to take in a detailed look at the park in all its glory. Though the evening was fast approaching, the three of them couldn't shake the sense of being watched.

"You feel that?" Reid had asked to which the other two nodded.

"It's strange," Caroline commented, venturing further ahead than the other two. Police tape cordoned off the park from being used despite the police having left the area a short time ago. "It feels very much like a cover up."

"How so?" Gideon questioned, raising his hand to shield his eyes from the sun.

"No witnesses, no amber alert, you guys were called in, sure, so was I, but… the police… seem very relaxed at the fact that a child – a toddler of eighteen months – has been taken," Caroline spoke honestly with them. "The cases I've worked on before, I can cut down the middle and say yes, this is what happened, but whenever I try and think of something logical, there's another obstacle in my way. Another question, another theory."

"What do you think happened?" Reid asked furrowing his brow.

"I have three possible theories," Caroline said. "The pushchair, according to the mother, had a thin cotton muslin cloth over the top to not disturb Harry. What if… Harry was never there? To abduct and kidnap a sleeping child is going to be hard."

"Extra weight," Gideon acknowledged, remembering his own children when they slept and how he struggled with the difference.

"Exactly," Caroline agreed. "I just think maybe something happened and the mother wanted to pretend everything was normal and took Aiden out as normal. They always bring the children out to the park at that time every Saturday. A change in their routine would send alarm bells, surely?"

"What's the other theory you have?"

"We have an opportunist abduction," Caroline pondered. "And this one is more likely than a mother accidentally killing her child, which isn't unlikely, but it's more possible. The other families were looking after their own child, they wouldn't really notice a pushchair with a sleeping child inside. Maybe someone wasn't in the children's park, maybe someone was walking by, and saw the pushchair close to the metal fence and took him. There're people coming and going now around us. It doesn't seem that out there that someone could've seen a sleeping baby and took the baby in one swift motion."

"And the third is a planned abduction?" Gideon asked, to which Caroline nodded.

"Someone could've been watching her for a long time. They would've known her routine on a Saturday. They always went to the park when Harry was having a nap. Maybe, today was the day their plan became a reality," Caroline chewed her lip as she looked around at the seemingly endless park that surrounded her.

"Do you think it's a stranger abduction?" Reid asked Caroline.

"Most likely," Caroline answered with a nod. "All I know is someone isn't telling us the whole truth."


End file.
